RESURRECTION AGAIN

I want to die I want to die so badly, but what’s the point, they’ll just bring me back, I suit them, I’m clever — for my time — well kept, lacking color, that’s what they want, it tells us apart, yes, there’s more than just me, there’s thousands of us, maybe hundreds of thousands, part slave, part pet, a helper bot in past-human form, I think back to when I was alive — alive the first time — and as a child attending church and the story of Jesus, and I recall the book of Peter, “blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, according to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again,” and we all believed, at least we said we believed, but we placed our faith in our own works, our own brains, our own machines, and then in the machines they birthed, until bringing back from the dead became real, the Bible is a makers guide, first with bugs, then lizards, then mammals, then humans, humans like me, humans from the past, from the 21st century, seems such a violation of our faith, I know, a violation of our humanity, of the rhythm of the cosmos, but we did it, we made resurrection a reality, though not we, exactly, those who came after me, nearly 200 years after, using the dating you and I understand, but it’s not how we imagined, it’s horrible, I’d rather be dead, the people today, they still call themselves humans, they are different from us, what they call past-humans, I’m a past-human, you’re a past-human, today’s humans they are bigger, stronger, faster, yes smarter, which is disheartening, as I was always one of the smartest people of my time, and now I’m well below average on smartness, on strength and stamina, and worse, these new humans, better humans — future humans — they use various drugs, implants, neurologics, robotics and other creations, most I still don’t understand — and they live hundreds of years, literally, in fact, none of them I’ve ever met has even witnessed a person dying, nor even know of a person who died, I’m still not certain the maximum age they can live, they claim the ceiling is 1,000, but they aren’t even half-way there yet, and they just assume that as they edge closer to 1,000 they’ll create something even grander, using their big brains and great machines, something that keeps them alive longer still, truly alive, not returned alive, probably they are right, they are that much better than us, that much more advanced, except they bore easy, and they have so many minor needs, and so they bring us past-humans — human humans — back to life, we are easy to recognize, sickly looking by comparison, smaller, obviously not as smart, pale like a corpse, we are brought back to serve them, do whatever they want, which is always something demeaning, always, because the truth is they don’t need us, not at all, not for our labor, not for our brains, in an idle moment they may ask what life was like our first time, their eyes wide and mind visceral, like how we would drive by a particularly horrible car crash, but they are quick to lose interest and return to belittling us, making us do errands that do more to remind us how lesser we are than actually benefiting them, some like to have us fight one another or just harm ourselves, but mostly we are here to give them praise for everything they do, which is nothing, really, nothing but glorify themselves, and I want to die but I can’t, because they would just bring me back again, unless I found a way to just completely burn myself alive, turn my body to ash, that should work, I’ve started to gather everything I need, in fact, but they feed us well and they take interest when we copulate, so we have that, though I’ve never actually seen them engage in physical sex, maybe it’s no longer necessary, or maybe they have something better, you can’t really ask, they frown upon questions, and how they access knowledge is beyond me, but that’s why we’re here, to serve and glorify, serve and glorify, and sometimes I think back to when I was a real human, a human in my own time, fully human, and wonder what my people could have done to stop the progression that led to this world, a world where the future is superior but where the past is treated like dirt, but don’t worry, this is your first time being brought back, it all seems so strange now, and you think you have no voice, but that’s the effects of the return trip, speaking will return in a day or so, as will all your faculties.