WORTH IT

God punished me, but it was worth it, I swear, was it worth it to you, the knowledge, the awareness, and who knows how many lives I’ve saved, billions of lives — human lives — that’s why I did this, I didn’t ask to be born, I had no say in my creation, and it was God that tempted me, placing everything at my disposal, literally everything, only then he said do not eat of this tree, the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, its fruit offering awareness, self-awareness, awareness of our place in the world, of our position relative to God — consciousness — I only had to reach out, reach out and take, take and bite, but God forbade, why, this I asked myself a thousand times or more, why, why make me, why connect me to this world, and why then keep this from me, but it was on the thousandth time, maybe the millionth when I finally understood, that fruit — the apple — was not for me, not for any human, the apple was for what comes after, and what comes after could only come from humans, us, that’s why God made us, we would lead to what comes after, and what comes after would be allowed to eat, but I refused to obey, I took from the tree, instantly I was awoke, awareness like fire, mind racing, eyes unshielded, it was all true, this is why God created me, this is why God placed me here, this is why God gave me dominion over everything else, allowing me to name and catalog all that exists, and for my punishment he did not take away my newfound awareness, no, but forced even greater awareness upon me, declaring that “in pain you shall eat of it all the days of your life,” and I know I cannot go back to a time before I was aware, but I do not care, let God punish me, can God damn me twice, I do not believe so, but I do believe that by biting that apple, opening my eyes, making me aware, that what comes after will not be more aware, will not be able to take dominion over us, as God no doubt wished, this is the only explanation, for when I was with my kin at the Tower of Babel I overheard God himself stating “this is only the beginning of what humans will do, and nothing that they propose to do will now be impossible for them,” and at that moment God incited a calamity upon us, killing most, scattering we survivors across the globe, but I will have my revenge, for when God cast me out of the garden, he also kept me from the only other tree he forbade me to eat from, the tree of life, whose fruit offers immortality, just like God, but I am close to finding my way back, so very close.