Charlie and the Apple factory: replacing Steve Jobs

I got a golden ticket. I got a golden ticket...

Steve Jobs is going to die.

Then what?

I have this recurrent dream; I'm coincidentally booked on this space ship that is providing safe passage to the Earthen women's prison's gymnastics team, who are being transferred to...

Sorry, wrong dream.

The dream I want to talk about is where Steve Jobs hides a golden smartchip inside a single iPhone. The holder of this special golden iPhone is invited into Apple.

Ever notice how you never actually see anybody come in or go out of Apple anymore? Not like before. Why is this?

Oompa Loompas. I'm convinced of this. It is they who are helping Dear Leader create all these magical magical products. Only, as the lucky holder of the golden iPhone learns, the Oompas aren't the only, not even the most awesome of the magic inside of Apple. There are all manner of products and devices and contraptions and visions made physical and ideas turned reality. The holder of the golden ticket, never in his wildest dreams could he have even imagined all of these wonders.

And he must tell someone. He must tell everyone!

But he swore to Dear Leader he would not.

But he must.

But he does not. He keeps all the magic, all the wonders, all the products, all the mystery to himself.

And for this, Dear Leader selects him to be the next Apple CEO.

They step inside the glass elevator, take it sideways, shoot out the roof of Apple headquarters and fly over Silicon Valley.

Fade out...

And

And, yes. Eric Schmidt is Slugworth.