Steve Forbes puts the flat tax to Paul Maidment's ass. And a few years remain left of granddad's fortune (if not his namesake).

Hey, buddy, care to help an ex-pat down on his luck?

You know, if there's one safe job during the smartphone wars, and there isn't, it's writing about all those killed off during the smartphone wars. Like Paul Maidment, executive editor at Forbes. True, it's not a relevant website and thus certainly not relevant to smartphones, but since smartphones are leading the complete decimation of the pricey, curated, overflowing with Euros print magazine industry, why not spend my downtime decoding the message of one more victim? His final words, sent, of course, in an email blast:

[Begin decoding:

As many of you already know
Since they brought in my replacement months ago

June 14th is my last day at Forbes.
It was supposed to be Friday but Lew-d needed the space

After almost ten years
Which really should have been enough of a head-start

that have seen Forbes.com transformed in scope
from an Internet version of our magazine to a money-losing version of Business Insider

reach and importance 

check it out! We're still a auto-link on the Business bookmarks for IE6!

during a decade of wrenching change for our industry,
that saw billions in new money created, millions of new websites, hundreds of thousands of bloggers, numerous worthy new competitors

I am ready to advance
which Roget's accepts as an alternative to: fired

to the next phase of my life
rubbing formaldehyde on another print magazine's website

(which won't be starting until the World Cup is finished, of course).
Unlike money-grubbing Americans I understand there are things more important than work and business and succeeding at work and business

This is the right moment
They took my ID and the keys to the Lexus

to make the break
And escorted me to the door

and take the plunge.
And made me jump

My thanks to all those who helped make Forbes.com become what it is today.
A link off Huffington Post

Stay in touch via XXXXX.
But not for real

There will be beers.
After all, there are still 23 more days left in the world when Euro trash could live large off the magazine industry.

Good luck and prosper well.
Fuck you, Steve

End decoding]