When is an earnings call a all hands staff meeting? When the company is Nokia.

When the day began, I had grand plans to parse the Nokia quarterly earnings call, talk about the promises, the pitfalls, the death of MeeGo, the tentative embrace of the outside world. But work kept pulling me away and now it's late and you have the numbers. Maybe I'll discuss them tomorrow. Tonight, however, before I go to sleep, one thought about the earnings call strikes me:

it's not about the earnings, it's about the employees

Stephen Elop, new CEO, knows he won't get punished for these numbers. He knows he can't be linked to any failed projects, misfired strategies, bloated departments, directionless engineers, bad purchases. He's like the new head coach of the Detroit Lions. No one can blame him for all the past failures, and everyone assumes that even his best won't make the team a contender. Which is why so many of Elop's words on this earnings call struck me as boilerplate new guy showing us all he knows the score and is in charge and he's gonna make a big name for himself doing what no one else thought possible.

But I think if you dig deeper, it becomes apparent that Nokia's problems are so obvious, so pervasive, likely so inexcusable, even though the place is teeming with thousands of bright, hardworking, well-meaning Finns, that all of Mr Elop's statements are directed at them, not investors. Just like the new Detroit Lions coach, he is letting his team know that it's (mostly) not their fault. He's telling them that even though it's mostly not their fault, changes, big changes, must be implemented. And he sounds like a man who has already accepted the fact that he will oversee the purchase of Nokia. For all the great Nokia strengths he touts, Mr Elop sounds like a man who has already decided that the very best Nokia can do is become the mobile world's WordPerfect to Microsoft's Office. Which, should he choose that route, kind of makes me admire him and the company. They would prefer living off the crumbs, in freedom. From the sounds of things, however, I don't know if that route, such as it is, will take them very far.

Now to the earnings call:

Since our last earnings call, we have continued a very deep assessment of Nokia’s strengths and weaknesses all in the context of our rapidly changing market environment. Through this assessment, I have reinforced my belief in the value of Nokia’s gems and there are clearly some gems upon which we will build Nokia’s strategy.

[we sell the family jewels for cash. cash will keep us running a bit longer.]

Deliberately in no particular order these gems are first, we will build upon the passion and enthusiasm of people inside and around Nokia. This includes our dedicated Nokia team, but it also refers to our customers, literally hundreds of millions of people who have an affinity for the Nokia experience. Nokia is a brand that defines mobility in many regions of the world and is still strong today. We have shipped 5 million of our new Symbian devices in the fourth quarter, which sends a strong signal about our customer base.

[5 million? good people or not, we are radically underperforming.]

Second, we will expand upon our channels' very broad and deep reach. This includes our strong operator relations, world-class customer care and an industry-leading distribution network, which is especially strong in emerging markets.

[potential buyers should consider this the Nokia dowry]

Third, we will embrace our strong hardware innovation and productization capabilities allowing us to differentiate from the low end to the high end and across a wide range of hardware components like cameras and advanced sensors. For example, customers worldwide are celebrating our recently released N8.

[no one is celebrating shit. but when we adopt one or more non-Nokia operating systems, we must continue to focus on our hardware strengths to differentiate us and make a profit.]

Fourth, we will advance our great software and services assets, which benefit hundreds of millions of our consumers across all market segments. This includes location-based services, localized services like Live Tools in emerging markets, and the Ovi Store which ramped quickly in Q4 to 4 million downloads per day.

[by "advance" he means sell off.]

Fifth, we will harness our demand/supply network, which helps us perform broad product customization. As a result, we can meet the needs of a wide range of cultures, languages and operator requirements, and with more than 10,000 patent families we will build upon our IPR portfolio, which is one of the most extensive portfolios in the world.

[still more to the dowry]

Nokia faces some very significant challenges. The game has changed from a battle of devices to a war of ecosystems and competitive ecosystems are gaining momentum and share. The emergence of ecosystems represents the broad convergence of the mobility, computing and services industries.

[we are in a war we cannot win]

Today, the winning ecosystems at the high-end to mid range deliver great hardware, compelling user interfaces and the coherent aggregation of search, advertising, ecommerce, social networking, location-based services, entertainment and unified communications, just to name a few.

[neither Symbian, Symbian 3, Maemo or Meego can compete]

At the same time, we see a different type of ecosystem building around mid-range to low end devices and developing markets involving very low cost components and manufacturing processes. In this range, brand, scale, price, design, distribution and speed are critical. It is on this basis of ecosystems that Nokia must now compete.

[until the poorest areas of the world can afford legitimate smartphones, we keep selling low-end Nokia to them, but put no money into it]

In addition to changes in the competitive landscape, there are challenges that are specific to Nokia. For example, our experiences are not competitive in all markets. As a result, we witnessed a pattern of disappointment in those markets. Therefore, we must always deliver great products and we are actively raising the operations and execution bar within Nokia.

[translation: even in Finland I have no choice but to fire a few thousand underperforming Finns]

We also continue to learn that we need an attitudinal shift within Nokia. We need to operate as the challenger in this market. This means we must improve the quality of our execution, accelerate the speed at which we execute and enhance the effectiveness of our partnerships.

[those of you not fired better start contributing]

In short, our industry changed, it's time for Nokia to change faster. Therefore, on February 11th we will present Nokia's strategic direction. Today, I will provide you insight into the framework upon which we are making our decisions.

[you should know if you still have a job on february 11]

One, we must consistently deliver a great product. Our success must begin and end with winning products. Of course today's product is more than just a great device, which leads me to number two. Nokia must compete on an ecosystem to ecosystem basis.

[wait, what? compete on an ecosystem to ecosystem basis? what does that mean exactly?]

In addition to great device experiences we must build, capitalize and/or join a competitive ecosystem. The ecosystem approach we select must be comprehensive and cover a wide range of utilities and services that customers expect today and anticipate in the future.

[oh, got it. they're going to start building non-Nokia OS devices. wait, what? Nokia will be building other's devices? shit, that's a pretty big deal. since he's already talking about this, I have to assume it's Android, since it's too soon to get in bed formally with Microsoft]

Three we must take maximum advantage of Nokia's assets. These are our gems some of which I described earlier. An effective strategy we will build upon Nokia's strengths.

[as CEO, I will get top dollar for everything I sell off]

Four Nokia must be able to maintain sustainable differentiation.

[which will be hard once they abandon Nokia's beloved Symbian and failed Meego for smartphones. the differentiation will be in brand name, hardware, a ready-built ecosystem thanks to Ovi, maps, etc.]

Five we must believe that our strategy simultaneously increases our success in markets, where we are strong, while reopening doors and markets where we are weak.

[not relevant. the market will quickly let us know this.]

Six, we must believe that we can successfully execute the strategy.

[translation: complain about the changes and you will likely be terminated.]

Seven, the strategy must be elegant in its simplicity, as I have already said Nokia must change faster than the industry is changing. Our go-forward strategy must be remarkably clear so that we can effectively refocus and align our employees, partners and other stake holders.

[sounds like a man planning to sell off a lot more of the company than I had originally suspected]

Finally, we must believe that our strategy will maximize shareholder value.

[also not relevant. new CEO asking for time.]

Suffice it to say that my first few months at Nokia have been remarkably illuminating and remarkably busy. We look forward to sharing the next step in our journey with all of you on February 11th.

[all hands meeting on February 11]